Unlucky in Love

Tuesday, 22 March 2016

Well my little corner of the internet, it's time to have a personal chat about my old friends, anxiety and depression, and the effects it has on my personal life, or more my love life and lack thereof.

The older I get, the more I feel like love just isn't going to happen for me and it is 100% my fault. Through the last few years, there's been chances of being with someone and I let my anxiety get in the way. I get anxious and have a really bad panic attack which spirals into depression. The depression can last days, maybe weeks and sometimes months. Once that happens, I lose all initiative and motivation for any interaction with anyone outside of my family. By the time I get out of my depression bubble, I assume that the guy's lost interest. (I know, I know what assuming makes me). But this has been going on for years now, and I can't seem to break the cycle.

It's very frustrating and annoying, and I get really down about it. A while back I wrote a post entitled "Living with Anxiety" and I decided I don't want to live with anxiety! I've decided that I need to do something. I'm going to see someone to talk about my anxiety because I heard therapy can help since pills didn't help at all for me. It's just hard seeing everyone around me falling in love and having that constant companion with them, and not knowing what that's like and all I have is myself to blame.

I just felt like writing up this little post to kind of shed light on why this blog has been lacking more so than usual this year. I'm not the most consistent writer anyways, but I've had almost no motivation since January. I'm slowly coming out of it, but I'm not completely there yet. It's uphill battle after all!


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