The scary D word.

Friday, 20 May 2016

I've touched on this topic a couple times on here, but I kind of wanted to explain why I've been slacking on this blog lately. I have depression. To me that's harder and scarier to talk about than my anxiety. I can easily say to someone that I have an anxiety disorder because it feels common to me now, whereas depression is just something I felt from time to time as anxiety and depression often go hand and hand. I've never had my depression last as long as it has this year, but I feel like since New Years, I've getting beaten up by both and both are a constant presence in my life.

As you may or may not know, I work in the consumer service industry where I'm around people all day long and when I'm feeling this way, at times it can take a lot out of me. For the most part, I'm okay but when it's really bad that's when I start to think about about what other people are thinking about me, and when there's all these people around, it can feel suffocating at times, if that makes sense. But like I said for the most part when I'm at work I'm mostly focused on my job at hand, and everything I need to do and making sure the customers are happy. But the moment I get home, it can all hit me at once, and I'll feel completely drained at times and just have no energy left to do anything else. Because of this, I can sometimes feel like I'm wasting my life away. It's scary to think that I'm in my late 20's and I feel like I haven't lived.

Because of all this, I'm going to soon seek professional help because I can't live my life this way anymore. It's not healthy! But that is why this blog has kind of been pushed aside for me. I have a couple posts on the go but for now, I need to focus on me and getting better. I hope everyone can understand!

(found this on tumblr, and I love the quote. Plus I love the Sugg Siblings. Zoe and Joe are my favourite YouTubers and have helped me get through a lot of tough times!)

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