Why my Dad reminds me of Jack Pearson on This Is Us!

Monday, 26 February 2018

It's been a year to the day since I lost my Dad, and my life changed irrevocably. Since that moment, I'll forever be living with this Dad shaped hole in my heart that will never been full again. It's a very strange feeling, losing someone you love, because in some ways it feels like the time flew by and in others it feels like he's been gone for so long. There has not been a single day that's gone by that I haven't thought of him, and I can't foresee there ever being a day where I won't.

So you're probably wondering why I decided to use this title. Just know this post isn't going to be all about Jack Pearson, the character, but all about my Dad and why I felt like he reminds me of the superhero Dad that Jack was on This Is Us. I'll most likely do a separate post all about This Is Us in the future because that show is phenomenal. But this more about my Dad with some character comparison to a real life superhero Dad.

I'm going to throw up a SPOILER WARNING here; if you have not seen This Is Us, and don't want to know anything about the show until you see it, then I suggest not reading on since I'm going to get into character details and plot points that I don't want to ruin for anyone. It's best to go into that show with fresh eyes, knowing nothing, trust me!! My post isn't going anywhere, it'll still be here when you get all caught up or at least get through the first half of the first season. By then I feel like you'll have a good understanding on the show and characters, like Jack.


I got the idea for this post when I was watching the latest gut-wrenching episodes that had to do with Jack's death. For me, This Is Us is a hard show for me to watch even though I love it so much. To have the Dad character of the show not only die, but die young is very close to home for me. The circumstances are completely different to Jack's death and my Dad's. But I think the thing that struck me first is when I worked out the math and realized Jack died at the age of 53, which is the same age my Dad was when he passed. That's when I really started to think about how much Jack actually does remind me of my Dad in the way he parents his kids. Now just know I'm basing this off the episodes I've seen, which is all of the Season 1 minus the last 2 or 3 episodes and all of Season 2 except for the two most recent episodes. Reason being is like I said before it's just too hard for me to watch right now (and yet I watched the two saddest episodes there was, don't ask me how my brain works!).

Now I know my Dad had his flaws, every human has them, there is no flawless person in the world! My Dad wasn't a drinker though, so he wasn't an addict like Jack. My Dad was never an addict, but he had his flaws to which I'm personally not going to get into. But as far as character comparison goes, the drinking showed that Jack was not flawless by any means, so I wanted to make note of that before I went on. When I think of the character of Jack Pearson, I think loving Dad who would do literally anything for his kids. That was my Dad. I was his only child, but I always knew that no matter what, my Dad would be there for me if I needed him. So you can imagine how hard the last year has been knowing that I don't have that anymore. But the thing I miss most of all is just being able to talk to my Dad and have him talk back, and have him make me laugh. My Dad was the funniest guy I knew, he always knew how to make me laugh. I miss that so much!!

My Dad also did whatever he could to make my childhood fun, much like I think Jack did for his kids. (Also a quick sidenote: I think Rebecca did and does the same for her kids. I could go into detail why I think she's an amazing mom, much like my own mom. But this is a Dad post.) One of the big things that comes to mind for me right now when I think of my childhood and what my Dad would do to make it fun is whenever we would watch a movie especially if my cousin, Stephanie, came over, he would try to transform our basement into our own movie theater. We had a big screen TV, and my Dad would put a comforter blanket over the top of it as the curtain. I would make my own movie tickets, and we'd have to rip the tickets before all heading down to the basement where not only was the blanket curtain over the TV, but my Dad would move the two couches into rows in front of the TV for us. Then when it was time for the movie to start my Dad would slowly raise the blanket up the TV until it was off and then it was showtime. How amazing is that!! Something so simple, but something that has stayed with me for so long as one of the many amazing things my Dad would do.

I don't know if this turned out the way I wanted it to, but I'm going to wrap it up here because this is getting too hard for me to write. I miss my superhero Dad who was the greatest Dad a girl could ask for. Life is cruel and unfair at times, and cancer is one of the worst things to exist. I wish this past year was just some horrible nightmare that I could just wake up from, but unfortunately this is real life. My Dad was the funnest and funniest, coolest, best Dad ever!! What I wouldn't give to have him back in my life, I would give up everything! 

Dad, I love you and I'll miss you everyday for the rest of my life!!

I'll leave you with a surprise picture I took of my Dad on one of our many Florida March Break trips since it's the way I most remember him looking, no crazy breads and mustaches, haha!!

Life Update; Long time, No see!

Tuesday, 20 February 2018

My sincere apologies for the lack of posts on this blog. There was a time there where I honestly thought I was done with blogging for good. Ever since losing my Dad, I just had no motivation for a lot of things, many things got put on the back-burner. A lot happened in 2017 that continued to pile on with making it the worst year of my life. From the moment my Dad died, it was already the worst but life decided that wasn't enough. So I thought I'd take the time to go over everything that's been going on since my last post to give a bit of insight as to why I nearly gave up on blogging.

First off, my step-mom, Julie who is my Mom's partner had lost her job. I won't go into the details as that's her business. But there was a bit of stress at first as we weren't sure what was going to happen. Lots of questions arose, one of the main ones being 'will we have to move?'. That stressed me out at the thought just because I love my house, and also I was worried if we were going to have to move out of the area, how would I get to work without the bus route that's by my house that takes me right to my work plaza. Luckily it's all worked out, and everything has been okay on that front. So now I MUST work on getting my license! As much as driving terrifies me, I know that when I'm focused, I'm a good driver so I just need to get back to that mentality and started practicing!!

A few months after that at nearing the end of October, we had to say goodbye to our family dog of 14 years, Riley. That was devastating!! But for a long while he was having problems in his lower back, which would cause he's hip or legs to give out. It became very hard for him to go down the stairs or to simply lie down. Because of the disease in his lower back, it also would cause him to lose his bowels often. On the morning we had to say goodbye, he had lost his bowels really badly and there was blood mixed in. (Sorry I know this is TMI, but I want to explain what happened). My stepmom woke me up at 5am to tell me and her and I went to the Emergency Clinic. That was the first time I've ever been there to witness one of pets being put to sleep. It was so hard and completely heartbreaking to watch.

The next bad thing happened at the start of this year in January. We had to say goodbye to another one of our pets. This time it was Bo, our 18 year old cat. He was also have some problems for a little while, but it wasn't until we discovered a large mass on his throat that we knew it was time. No matter what it's always sad and difficult to say goodbye to pet that you've had for so long. But I'm thankful knowing that both Riley and Bo had long good lives. I miss them daily, but I'm so relieved knowing that they're not suffering anymore. And I like to think my Dad's watching over them for me now.


One very good thing did happen in 2017. Because we were missing Riley so much, and missing having a dog in the house, we ended up getting a puppy!! Her name is Bella, she's a Pure-Bred Yellow Labrador. We got her on Nov 12, when she was just 6 weeks old. She's now nearly 5 months, and I love her so much!! I'm so thankful to have her in our lives, as she just adds so much joy to our lives everyday.

Through all that, I really did think that I was done with blogging. But I decided to revamp everything, said goodbye to sunshinegold and start fresh with a new domain name and new look for the blog. I'm feeling refreshed and ready to get back into the swing of things!!

 It's good to be back!

 photo envye.jpg
envye blogger theme