MENTAL HEALTH | World Mental Health Day

Saturday, 10 October 2020

Today is World Mental Health Day! As someone who has a few mental health disorders, I thought it would be best to talk about it some more today. I've made it no secret I have a severe anxiety disorder coupled with depression. I also have social anxiety. I'm sure there's more, but I've only scratched the surface, and I'm too scared to delve deeper into my psyche to find out more. I know I should, I know I need to look into getting therapy, but it's something I'm working towards, I'm just not there yet. My doctor wants me to join a virtual group therapy session before they can recommend one-on-one therapy. But given my social anxiety, even in a virtual setting, I've been holding off. It's an exhausting illness, there's no doubt about that. 

As I've said in past posts recently, I feel really derailed this year in terms of my mental health. I feel like I was getting myself into a really good place at the end of 2019. I had newfound confidence after getting my license. I was ready to tackle more life goals after that, and I thought 2020 was going to be the year to get more life stuff on track. But you never know when a global pandemic is going to happen, and it completely knocked me down a peg or two or twenty in terms of my confidence and overall mental health. I feel almost like I'm back at square one. I'm stressed beyond my limits, I'm tired all the time, and I just feel like I can't catch my breath. 

What I have started to get into is journaling my anxious thoughts. It does feel nice to have a place to put my thoughts and feelings, a way to let them out without feeling like I'm burdening others with my problems. I'm constantly worrying that I'm saying or doing the wrong thing all the time. I feel like I either care too much or I'm not caring enough. It can be very overwhelming. In times like that, I feel like I need to get my thoughts out before I go insane, and journaling has really been helping so far.

I won't go into this too much because I do feel like I've said a lot over the last few weeks on here about where my mental health is at. But I leave it all to the comments now. If you have a mental health disorder, and you want to talk about it, please feel free to do so. Also, if you have any resources on mental health that you think would help not only me, but anyone reading this, then please share that in the comments as well. If I had the energy and was better prepared, then I would do more research, but seeing as I'm writing this the night before World Mental Health Day, I'm just not going to be much help to anyone.

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